Scary Saturdays

Dear Sundance,

Do you believe in ghost? I sometimes find myself howling at the wind or flinching at the sound of my squeaky floor. Sometimes I hear a meow from the closet and no one is there, not even a mouse. I tremble when no one one is around and I am left home alone. I cry myself to sleep when I am left in my crate for more than a few hours and my master is away. He says he needs to go to work and make the money, but I feel when he is away I hear sounds and perceive slight movements. Is there anything I can do?

In need of help,

Trembling Chihuahua

Dear T.C.,

Just the other day I had the same experience. I was left home while James and Mamma went out to buy some groceries.

I was lying there on the verge of sleep and right near my tail, I heard the strangest thrrbbpt sound. I looked up and to my bewilderment, there was no one there. I growled and no one showed there face. I definitely smelled something. Who ever it was eats the same kibble as I do. Surely this was a sign, more than anything a warm presence was felt.

Sometimes our minds play evil tricks on us. I fond that when I start the day with 40 minutes of exercise, even though these things happen, I am too tired to care. When James is leading me out on the trails or around the block, I feel secure. Because he is a pack leader all the time, I feel safe even when he is not home and I do not allow myself to get carried away with strange creepy thoughts. But when things get really scary and I start to feel a little insecure without James and Mamma, I go find where Skuzum my cat-brother is sleeping, and curl up near him (but not too close, he likes his space) and I feel a hundred percent better knowing I'm not alone.

Live Happy!

Sundance

Culinary Quandaries

Dear Sundance,

I am a two year old pit-bull. Despite the reputation of my breed, I am a very intellectual fellow, and I like to read a lot. I've read that the vegetarian diet is very good for everyone, vegan even better. But after trying it for a day, all I can think about is rib eye, london broil, sirloin, new york, tri-tip, hamburger, sausage, and cat. I am torn between my rational mind and my prefrontal cortex, even though I have no idea what this is.

What do you think Sundance?

Signed,

Modern Dog

Dear M.D.,

I too have read many books like Skinny Pooch, Eating Squirrels, The Carnivores Dilemma and find myself torn with this conundrum. At times I really have to buckle down and bite the bullet whenever I see Denzel the cat, and Charlie the squirrel, because I remember not to long ago that James had a talk with me. He helped me understand that squirrels and cats are my friends, and the meat I eat from my favorite butcher is all sustainable. I think this means they did not have to kill the animals, and that like tomato plants, the sirloin just grows right back.

The bottom line is are bodies require certain essential amino acids that we cannot produce ourselves. They are only found in kibble and butcher scraps. So as appealing as lettuce and carrots may be, alas it is simply a biological requirement that we suffer through a steak every now and then and are forever trying to satisfy are neanderthal cravings. If your owners don't understand, have them read The Vegetarian Myth by Lierre Kieth. (I've never read it, but I got some good ear scratches while Momma read it.)

So, sink your teeth into that succulent salmon that your owners left on the counter, and feel no remorse or second thoughts, for the circle of life must go on! (I highly recommend watching The Lion King for scholarly scientific reference)

Live happy,

Sundance

Attraction Advice

Dear Sundance,

I have heard that you have a way with the ladies. How is it that a dog like yourself can maintain such charisma and be so calm about it all the time?

Sincerely,

Desperately Seeking Rottweiler Attention.

Dear DSRA,

I am very flattered that you would consider me to be a ladies' man. I am far from such, but if you must know, I do my best to maintain body, mind, and spirit with a daily routine of exercise, careful nutrition, and grooming. I never question who I am when I am given an ample amount of cardiovascular exercises. On days like today when the heat is above 90 degrees and air quality is bad (normal Los Angeles breathing conditions), my pack and I do our best to head out early in the morning. Even though this city rarely sleeps, dogs are easy going and less hostile at 6 a.m. We are able to be dogs and communicate without owners harboring a day's worth of fear or anxiety.

This approach to exercise helps out greatly when it comes to sniffing the opposite sex. My demeanor is less anxious, instead I am calm and submissive. I suggest you and your master begin a daily exercise routine, at least 40 minutes of structure and focused heart beating exercise every morning. The ladies will notice your trim physique and you can begin conversations with, "Do you run here often?" or "Are you a smoker? 'Cause you are smoking hot!"

Live Happy!

Sundance

LOVE

The day is almost over. Just one last lick of James' neck and I think I will have all his powers. I really do not want to take his powers, I just want to see what it is that makes him get up each morning and support Mama, Skuzum and me. I could tell he was a little tired today. We ran our usual course through Griffith Park with Stella, but he was still asleep. Perhaps it was last night's SWAT and helicopter escapades. Or was it the man he told me about during our run who was carried out of the apartment, after the police raided his building. Supposedly, reports were written that one of our neighbors had taken too many pills and was barricading himself in his house with a gun. By the time police had reached their suspect he had overdosed on pills and was unconscious for who knows how many hours. HE HAD NO GUN!

I do not understand the human spirit in this overpopulated town. It is never at rest, and when it is, it is sitting on some white porcelain thing. Each day we pass by Silver Lake dog park. Many of my friends are running around having a great time because they have been locked up in the small apartments all day. I truly do not understand why their owners choose to take the easy way out and instead walk them. This would truly create a stronger bond than letting them run loose and get into mischief with other dogs who have similar mental problems. I am so glad James takes me out everyday, sometimes twice a day, with my buddies Kobe, Ink and Na_Me. I really support this idea and find it works on all levels. I get exercise which is at the top of my list of things I need to do each day. I am always surrounded by friends, taking care of the socialization aspect of my training, we are always exposed to different experiences, and most of all, I am completely balanced because I don't have to be the pack leader. I get to be a dog.

So you see, I know I am very loved and I remain focused. Rarely will you see me depressed or down and out. Just when have you ever heard of a dog committing suicide and having a team of K-9's raid a doghouse?

I LOVE YOU Mama and James!

Hard Headed Woman

Just found out my girlfriend Na_Me is in town. YES! Kobe has his hands full for the next few weeks. My uncle Wayne broke his elbow about 2 weeks ago and is unable to walk Na_Me. His daughters, Madie and Bailey are too small and inexperienced to handle Na_Me who has a tendency to pull with amazing force. Na_Me is very driven and excitable, with a strong zest for life. I think this is why I am attracted to her, because she is a dog who knows what she wants and goes after it, just like me. Except, I have learned to harness this energy and call upon it when given directions.

Tomorrow morning will be our time to run and I can give my brother Kobe some room to breathe. I am sure Na_Me has pestered him all day. Little does she know what she is in for.

Before I forget, not that I tried to erase this from my memory, but I had the greatest time in the pool today. Vixen challenged me with all her doggy-paddle moves and has really become a good swimmer. She is becoming a stronger swimmer and is able to stay afloat longer. She still has a funny sounding gastrointestinal issue when she gets out of the water, but that does not keep her away.

Consultation

I am so excited to report the news of the day: James and Mama will be giving an informal consultation this coming weekend. Today, James met Blue at his home. He had met Blue before at Vixen's house, and even than he recalls there being a dominant territorial issue with this dog. I have not met Blue, but have been told he is a handsome pit-bull, with muscles and a silky gray coat, ideal for warm weather areas like Glendale. I will need to wait before I meet this stud. I am sure there is good reason and trust James' decision on this matter. I know this will turn out best as James reminds me on occasion the value of "due time."

On that note, around 4:15 this afternoon, our mailman delivered a long awaited package. James and I have been patiently waiting for this moment to arrive and today it finally happened. Our Therapy Dog International identification card and bandana arrived, along with some information James will have to read and sign. Finally, I get to serve and be a legitimate Therapy Dog with papers. Soon, I will have many varying degrees of certifications like James and Mama do, showing how smart I am.

A Tired Dog is a Happy Dog: Pack Leader

A Tired Dog is a Happy Dog: Pack Leader: "It's 5:43 A.M. James is up before the alarm goes off every morning. Thanks to Skuzum, he never gets to sleep in because Skuzum drops a loa..."

Pack Leader

It's 5:43 A.M.

James is up before the alarm goes off every morning. Thanks to Skuzum, he never gets to sleep in because Skuzum drops a load or takes a piss in the toilet, and someone has to flush it. Skuzum is good like that, because James and Mama trained him to use the toilet. Little did they both know he would be the cock-a-doodle kitty every morning. I do not mind it, because it gives me a chance to creep into bed with Mama and cradle in the comfort of James' warm side of the bed.

"Sundance. Come on boy. Time to go."

Thats what I heard from James on our way out for our Oregon-Style Pack Run. The past two mornings, we've been heading out to pick up Stella. Stella is a new pack member with a history of pulling on the lead. James has had me come along to help train Stella and remind her it's o.k. to be a pack member and follow. She did really well today. A little change in scenery helped too. The first day we ran Silver Lake Reservoir, only to be entertained by incompetent dog-handlers. Today we visited Griffith Park and our run lacked the silliness of Silver Lake, instead it provided us with the stride of Achilles. We ran 5 miles in less than 45 minutes and made time to even watch a comedy of errors. From a distance we could see this man jogging and being pulled north, west, south and east by three dogs. The most powerful of the three was a Pekinese, but the laughs don't stop here. As we approached, James new full well what was about to happen, so we pulled over to the side of the trail, sat and watched. Coming from the rear were two athletic men who had been drafting off each other at a decent pace. Just as they were about to pass the three dogs, the blue heeler in the pack lunged from the handler's grip and attacked the trailing runner's ankles. Luckily, the runner was not injured, but it left him cautious as he approached us. James assured him that we were peaceful dog and we meant no harm. I knew what James was thinking and I knew he was annoyed that the handler did nothing to prevent the attack. He had every opportunity to establish himself as pack leader, yet he failed right out of the gate.

I am so glad we have James. He is the master of my fate, he is the captain of my soul. :)

Bad Silver Lake

I really enjoy my job. James brings me along when he needs some perspective and a little teaching. This morning we had a new client, Stella. Normally we run around Griffith Park, where there is less dog traffic and fewer people. But today James decided to run around Silver Lake Reservoir. He thought since we are only a block away, why not save on gas and incorporate some time management. All was well for the first 30 minutes of our run, up until about 7:20 when we hit our four mile mark, then we began to notice an increase in foot traffic, more dogs being walked on flexi-leashes, an increase of fresh unpicked poop on the trail, and 4 to 1 ratio of dogs to handlers.

I have been trained to run along side James and trained to ignore onlookers. James uses this practice as training, especially when I am around new dogs who join us.

However, there are times when unenlightened dog owners think they have expertise to express their opinions to someone they believe is doing it wrong. Like this morning, Stella and I were totally in sync with each other up until this lady who had 3 dogs decided it would be best to micro-manage the world and correct James. First off, this lame owner had 3 dogs too many, was tense and not relaxed. Her dog handling skillz were atrocious, so tense on the leash as to be lynch-like. After she gave her two sense, James told her, "be quite and manage your own dogs!"

Stella and I said, "BYE!" ..... "BYE!!!!"

There's already frustration built up in these humans, so overpopulated in this city, with no privacy or solace. Then each one has children, and no one seems to want advice about their children. And then they get a dog for each child they have (or don't have) and think it's okay to give advice to other dog owners. I think these people think that because my Daddy's dogs are well behaved, that we aren't happy and free. What they don't know is that their out-of-control dogs dominating their lives are the ones who aren't happy and free. And you know what else? Dogs don't tell other dogs how to raise their puppies. We only tell other dogs not to violate our personal space. When telling something to a stranger isn't going to help anything, why do they use words?