Oranges or Apples?

Topic: Choices and Decisions: Need and Desire

In this week's dialogue, James, Alexia, and Sundance will discuss how to find the right match for you and your loved ones.

Stewart

Sundance: How do you know when a match between an owner and a pet is the right match? I've noticed many dog owners with concerns about their pet's behavioral patterns.  This seems to be a recurring problem with a lot of first-time owners. Are there some early signs that can offer humans valuable information about which pet not to choose? 

James: I am so glad you asked the previous questions, Sundance. Finding the right match-dog for a household is important. But there's a difference between need and desire. A slower, older owner needs a slower, low-energy dog, to match the dog's needs. A marathoner needs a high-endurance dog (and the dog needs that owner). But when an owner stands before an array of puppy-dog eyes in cages, they forget about needs, and revert to desire.  When you, Sundance, are presented with foods that won't benefit you, you don't choose them. If I offered you a selection of lettuce, oranges, milk, soy, or steak, you would sniff it all and choose the option that would nourish your body for it's individual needs--steak, because you are balanced. Imbalanced dogs (or labs) would eat it all, feeling only desire, urge, and longing. Knowing this about you, I am certain your ability to read what suits your needs is much better than a human's. Your ability to meet your needs far exceeds a human's ability to make a sound choice.


Sundance: So people shouldn't just walk into a shelter and pick what they fancy like it's a candy store?

Shelter Dog

James: Choosing a puppy or adult dog takes a little know-how. The best sign to look for is a dog's energy. Not his size! Not his  cuteness! Not his independent nature! And definitely NOT his pedigree! A new owner must learn to read the spirit-energy as well as the physical energy requirements and output of the dog, and match that with their own needs. And an owner should never select a dog for these reasons:

"I want this dog because he is so big and he can protect me." 

"I want this dog because he is so cute and he hides in the corner and bothers no one."

"I want this dog because I think he will help me loose weight."

"I want this dog because he can fit in my Gucci bag."

"Look at his eyes! He needs me to rescue him!"

You see, Sundance, I want a dog to succeed! I want an owner to succeed! While it's sad to see a dog and know it will be put down, it is more sad to adopt a dog and then have to give it up a month later. I want a dog to be with the right owner. I would never try to squeeze a square block into a triangular hole. Unfortunately, there is a handful of new dog owners who think un-matching dogs is the new cool trend. Like the little old lady with the Rottweiler, or the hipster with the pitbull. If you want contrast and to throw off expectations, get a contrasting vehicle or tattoo. Don't subject another living being to your trend-following. 

Sundance: So humans really need to be ready to fulfill a dog's needs? Not just give every dog the same food, water, bone, and backyard to play in plus a quick walk every few days?


James: Right. Dogs are the animals with the most diverse breeds. Not only do they need different foods, and different amounts of water at different times, but they need different activities.

Kobe

Sundance: So, kind of like humans need variety? But so many humans are so happy to just be in front of the TV.


James: Dogs are not human, and humans need to begin by understanding the psychology of a dog. It takes time, persistence, and a consistent investment to train a dog. 
I have worked with many dog owners who have unfortunately adopted or purchased a dog based on emotion. Oftentimes this approach has ended with the owner spending lots of time and money on training, and then questioning their choice. 


Sundance: But some dogs, like me, are just so cute, it seems like nothing else matters. Anyone would want me, even if they couldn't give me the three to four miles of running I need every day.

Skuzum, James and Sundance

James: Well, a person shouldn't choose a spouse based only on looks. A person shouldn't marry someone to rescue them. A person shouldn't marry, adopt, or move in with someone without checking up on the person's background and traits first. And adopting a dog is like marrying: it's painful to end such a relationship. Our choices matter. 


Sundance: Wow, that's some heavy stuff.


James: Are you referring to what I just said, or the poopie-bag in my hand?